I am one of the 15% women who were mentioned in Mrs. Kampshroeders power point on miscarriage. My first miscarriage was when I was 21 years old. I had been married for a year and my husband and I decided we were ready for children. I can remember it was such an exciting time preparing for our first child. At 16 weeks, I started spotting. My doctor ordered me to bed. Two weeks later I was still spotting so I went in to see the doctor, hoping he could do something to insure me a healthy baby. My doctor did a urnine test and then called me into his office to tell me the bad news. I started crying, and he got frustrated with me. I will never forget when he said "why are you crying, it's not like you lost a baby, you just aren't pregnant anymore". He went on to tell me that I was still carrying the fetus, but that it was dead. He said to go home and when I started really bleeding and cramping to come back and he would do a D&C. 4 weeks later I returned, bleeding profusely. He put me in the hospital and sent my husband home. I went through labor that night, all alone in that hospital room and finally miscarried the next day. My friends and family were kind, but what they didn't understand was that I needed to mourn my baby. If I had carried that fetus for a couple more months we would have buried that baby. I think that would have almost been easier, because then people would have understood what I was going through.
I am also one of the 60 - 70% of women who go on to have healthy pregnancies after miscarriage. I had two very healthy boys, the first 3 years after my first miscarriage and the second two years later. Three years after my second son, I went through a second miscarriage. It was just as devestating and my arms felt just as empty, but my doctor, my friends and my family were alot more sympathetic, giving me time to grieve.
Little Loss, Big Hurt: Miscarriage.ppt by Michelle Kampschroeder (Spring 2007)
I am so sorry for your loss. Your doctor had no bed side manner and had no business working with women in any manner.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin was pregnant last year and had a miscarriage. She was in her second trimester and this was her first pregnancy. It was so hard for her and the family to bear. No one could comfort her and she went into a depression and with time and couseling she was able to move on. Prior to her being pregnant, my children would always cling to her, hug her, and play with her hair. She was always so sensitive, caring and patient with them. My children would never go up to anyone else like this before. She has all the skills a mother would need and more, it just comes so natural to her. So now she is pregnant again, and God willing will have the baby in August. I want to get excited for her, but it is just a little too early. I still am buying things for the baby, anything with a "snoopy" theme that I can find. I just don't tell her. I think everyone in the family is doing the same thing.
Miscarriage is so painful, for the expecting couple. One will drive themselves crazy trying to figure out "why" it happened. There is no answer to this. Hopefully in time, a woman can become pregnant again and deliver a healthy baby.
Klonell
ReplyDeleteGabriela said:
I am really surprised how you shared your experience with us; it is hard to share your pass experiences, which is why I am proud that you are a strong woman, because if I would be in your place I could not say my experience about miscarriage.But, now you are a happy mother.