Growing up in Washington state I lived close to my father's family. My mother's family all lived in Texas. Every other year my mom would load me and my brother up and bring us to Texas to visit the relatives. My mother was one of 11 children, 5 of which were mentally retarded. When I was 5, one of these aunts was having her period and ended up changing her pad in front of me. Being 5, I just thought it had something to do with her being mentally retarded. My mother found out about it and threw a fit. I didn't understand what it was about, but I knew it was bad. Fast forward 4 years. In the third grade we were shown the becoming a woman film. I remember the film saying that most girls started their periods around 12-13 years old (this was back in the 1960's). I remember being horrified that this was going to be part of my future! I had never heard anything so terrifying before, so I put it out of my mind since 12 - 13 was a lifetime away!
Nothing about cycles, bleeding or cramping was mentioned again. Then when I was 11, I went to summer camp for a week. I must of started my period the first night there. I had no idea what it was. I thought it was a stomach ache and I was too embarrassed to tell my friends or counselors because I thought it was because I was fat and so it was the way I was eating that caused this. I remember going for a whole week in dirty undies and shorts. No matter what I did I couldn't keep clean or stop this "diarrhea". I was never so glad to get home! But then it happened, my mom was doing laundry and found my soiled garments. She said I had started my period and then fussed at me for not having told the camp nurse or one of my counselors. Everything that I had learned to that point and was continuing to learn was that periods were bad, embarrassing and that I needed to hide the fact from everyone or they would think I was a bad person.
In high school was our next sex ed class. My teacher asked us about our first periods and if any of our parents celebrated it. The most popular girl in school responded that her mother made a day of it. She kept her daughter home from school that day and they spent the day together shopping and doing lunch and other girly things. She said it was great because her mother made her feel that becoming a woman was special. That was the first time I thought it might be alright to have a period and that it really was just a normal part of life.
My mom wasn't a bad person. She taught me the way she had been taught. That's why I believe that our churches and schools should be involved in sex education. It's great when you have parents that are comfortable talking to you, but for those kids whose parents have no clue how to talk to their kids about sex, we need to make sure those kids get just as much education. When my oldest son was 12, our church sent home permission slips for them to be taught a Biblical sex ed class. For any parents that wanted to teach their own children, there was a separate class for those kids that day. That way parents still had a choice, but kids were given the chance to learn.
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I agree with you, in that not all parents are comfortable talking to their kids and the kids still need to know. From sex education, a girls first menstral cycle and the teen talk, these are all a part of life. Growing up, my parents did not have a clue and there was no talk about sex they were too embarassed. So I decided early on, I would have an open approach to sex education when I became a parent. I remember watching the same movie in school. That is where I learned about menstral cycles. As far as sex education, I listened to my friends, and in high school, there was health class that was required, this was my learning process.
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